Two Truths
(Part One)
10/31/2014
There are two fundamental truths in my life and they find it necessary on occasion to resurface and remind me where I come from who I am and what truly matters to me.
Truth One – Love is the strongest and most significant force.
- · There is no physical or scientific measurement associated with love though it exists and emits a tangible and emotional response with an effect on objects outside itself.
o
It can be the heaviness in your chest preventing
proper breathing.
o
A stone around your neck. A physical response to
an obligation related to an existing relationship through obligation or love.
I.E. Caring for an ailing parent, or the responsibilities of parenting.
o
A weight that drops so hard into your stomach
you feel you could bottom out, akin to the change in velocity in an elevator.
o
It can be wispy - the light fluttering of
butterfly wings in the belly or the heart. A simple statement, and a simple
truth just the same.
o
Love heals all things. All good intention sent to the betterment of
another in form of energy or prayer creates a force, however immeasurable and
physically intangible per existing scientific formulaic measurement evokes a
positive result.
o
Love endures all things. Familial love, the love
of a child, the love of my fellow man, all hold a priority over negative response
which in turn, creates a positive outcome overall.
- · I am love.
o
As heavy, as light, or as physically pained as
my heart can feel related to an emotional circumstance it is in essence a corporeal
experience and therefore a memory is formed creating an connection that is a
part of the self.
- · I create love.
o
I write to attempt to capture the moment, the
truth of the experience in all the many layers that I am unable to articulate
verbally to amplify and recreate the experience.
Truth Two – I am emotionally strong.
- · I have sustained in one lifetime far more traumatic and damaging experiences than one human being should ever need to endure.
o
I was physically and sexually abused at the ages
of three, seven, and seventeen. No child
should ever suffer the loss of their innocence. It is the individual and divine
right to volunteer the transition of “coming of age” independently and without coercion
or force.
o
I have survived a great number of abusive
relationships in an attempt to heal the past, and have found there is no
healing in repeating cycles, or “fixing” others.
o
None of those experiences was my fault, nor the
resulting damage which led to a long series of failed attempts at healthy
relationship management.
- · I am no longer a victim of my childhood, or past relationships.
o
I make choices that are independent of the
trauma that I experienced in my past.
o
I actively work to take fear and anxiety to
reclaim it as my own with a new perspective, no matter how small.
o
I do not go out of my way to hurt others. I
foster love in others by giving it, and celebrate in joy the love that is
returned.
In spite of the abuse and innumerable painful experiences, I
maintain the hope that everything will work out as it should, simply because I
will make it so. I understand that it is
my perception that guides the direction of my outcome, and it is by choice that
I will it to form into a beautiful now.
If there is joy now, there will be joy again. I will celebrate what
there is to celebrate and I will suffer what there is to suffer, but I will
suffer wisely.
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