In Honor of Aunt Doris

November 9, 2014

In Honor Of Aunt Doris

Today we celebrated the life of my great-aunt Doris in a memorial service held in Mesa. Few of her remaining friends were able to attend. Aunt Doris’ grandson JayDee drove from Barstow, California bringing his current girlfriend Tabitha and their adorable Chihuahua mixed puppy Bella.  They arrived late and could not bring any of his 3 children with him.  His ex-girlfriend, or ex-wife, would not allow it from what I understood.

 

Last week, I’d offered to help to create a movie using photographs of her life on my computer and put it to music.  It was far easier a task than what she had initially intended.  By the time I offered, she’d already created 25 slides in a PowerPoint presentation.  I’d had to save the photos individually.

Fortunately I already had a great CD copied to my laptop to accompany the photo display as the 15 minutes of memories faded in and out on the display.  The trick was in the transfer.  It was also in explaining how to prepare the images onto my computer to my mother so that she could finish uploading the photos while I was in class and at work.

I arrived home at 4:30 on Friday, focused and intent on completing the video and preparing my assignment for the online Creative Nonfiction class due just before midnight.

Aunt Doris’ only son Mike and his girlfriend of 12 years Pam, arrived just behind me, eager to watch the video – on the DVD player, but it wasn’t ready yet.

Their constant over the shoulder glances and commentary about the functionality of my laptop vs. the program I planned to use to create the video only increased my anxiety.  Time ticked forward, and the video was still in no condition to be burned onto disk.

The supervision, while well intended, raised the unspoken concern at my inability to complete the task.  We took a break for dinner around 6:30 and by 7:30 I too became worried that the copy wouldn’t transfer to disk with the audio attached.

I reformatted the copy and sought out common Q&A related issues.

I was just trying to do something nice for Mike in Aunt Doris’ memory.  Why couldn’t the damn thing cooperate? I kept a smile on my face with Pam chattering in my ear, reminding me of the fact that we didn’t have time for these sorts of errors and needed to make sure that the disk would be ready for Sunday’s memorial. Mike worried out loud as well until my mother, in a genius move, redirected their focus elsewhere long enough for me to finish the job.

Thankfully the blessed thing finally copied to a disk and played as planned, music track included.  After 15 minutes of tears, Mike and Pam offered hugs and gratitude happy that the focal point of the event would be a lovely tribute to my Aunt Doris.

Whew!  

I refocused and finished my other assignment, hoping I’d come close to the mark in this new and foreign method of writing.  I’d cursed a bit in the process that my interview subject had let me down, and stood me up scheduling then rescheduling dates in the last two weeks. The constant changes left me to change the topic at the very last minute. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise.

Chaos ensued for the remainder of the weekend, laundry, my son Noah’s constant demands for attention, and a long overdue four hour lunch meeting with my Soul Sister Marjie. I was anxious to share what I’d written about her the night before.

It was nice to take a little time out before a deeply emotional event to de-stress and reconnect with myself through one of my closest friendships.

My days have been filled with the impossible calculations needed for understanding Astronomy, overdue writing assignments, demands of my kids, and being one secretary short at work all week.   

I’d rather not continue to test the bounds of my ability because I know I can only rely on heavy doses of espresso for so long.

I even had a horrific dream last night that my daughter overdosed on some kind of medication after we’d gotten into an argument and wouldn’t tell me what she’d taken.

Why is all of this important?  It’s not. What is important, is that my perspective changed, and I knew that despite all the craziness, I’d done the right thing and kept my cool.  I created the DVD for my 

 cousin (who I still call Uncle) Mike and helped him to honor his mother.  She was feisty and mouthy and I grew up knowing she’d tell you what was on her mind even if it hurt your tender feelings.  She’d been here long enough to know how things would go, and had no hesitation in telling you about it. Seems only fitting that things would go the way they did, because it all worked out in the end.